Manoeuvre your impostor syndrome
I completed a Master’s program in coaching from 2015–2017. Doing so was a blast, in particular because I regularly had to fly to Singapore to attend the class modules. The biggest benefit wasn’t the travelling though. It was the exposure to many self-coaching tools. Don’t you just love the idea of identifying and overcoming your challenges? Seeing and sensing progress makes me happy.
This week, I caught up with a friend who heads a Global Excellence function at a well known European family business. I suggested she reach out to Chief, the American network for female executives. She hesitated at first, hinting she might not be experienced enough. To me, it was an instance of the impostor syndrome rearing its (ugly) head. It makes its “victims” wonder whether they are good enough — whether they’re a match for a professional role, a romantic relationship, or a club. But dwelling on one’s perceived inadequacies is simply not an option. In today’s world where we continuously have to reinvent our (professional) identities, being aware of our strengths and using them to our advantage is crucial. Unearthing and learning to manouevre our impostor syndrome helps us.
In the summer of 2020, I shared my insights regarding the syndrome in an online course offered by the Female Founder Space (see video snippet on LinkedIn). The popularity of the post in conjunction with many conversations like the one cited were the impetus for this article.
So what is impostor syndrome? Claudine Clance and Suzanne Imes first referred to it in a 1978 Georgia State University study on high-achieving women. These women, “in spite of consistent objective data to the contrary, (they) attributed their successes to serendipity, luck, contacts, timing, perseverance, charm, or even the ability to appear more capable than they felt themselves to be” (see HBR article by Manfred F.R. Kets de Vries, cited below). In practice, an individual who suffers from impostor syndrome is not able to acknowledge his / her hard work and aptitude for a task. Instead, he / she comes up with various excuses why they succeeded.
But there is a danger in doing so. This type of thinking prevents you from aiming for the next biggest goal (be it a salary increase, asking someone out on a date, or starting to invest your money). It’s a form of self-sabotage. For example, my former co-founder Clara and I talked to many women about investing their money when creating our startup Finelles (website). Many of the women we interviewed anted to start investing once they had amassed extensive knowledge about investing. But that can take years.
In my experience, a number of strategies can help manoeuvring the impostor syndrome:
Imagine you apply for a job and doubt you have what it takes: make a list of all your past successes, complete with sales increases or other achievements. This is a piece of advice I received from my trusted career coach Marion Renoux. I wrote down all my achievements, and even added key performance indicators (= data). Reading through them continues to provide me with a strong sense of my successes. Give it a go!
Experiment with a different persona — one that is more confident than you. When I was a teenager, I was a member of a drama club. Hence this particular idea appeals to me. Everytime I need to convince someone (or myself) of my worth, I adapt this more confident outward person. It’s advisable to adopt a playful attitude with this self-coaching tool — you can even give the persona a name and define in written how this person acts and what she / he says.
Reach out to those who have achieved attained your dream (job / partner / investment sum). People enjoy talking about themselves and dashing out (solicited) advice. I find it quite helpful to ask for informal mentoring. You can ask the individual what it took them to get to their current position / stage in life. Did they focus on a stellar performance? Do they consider their knowledge of corporate politics as the key ingredient? Did they start investing aggressively? Did they listen to a dating podcast?
To summarize, more acquaintances and friends than expected seem to experience issues with not feeling good enough or like they don’t deserve the praise. Rest assured that you are not alone. However, it is possible to overcome your impostor feelings. Using one of the above strategies might help you. And don’t forget: You are a creative human being. I am sure you can come up with three ideas all by yourself.
Sources:
“The Dangers of Feeling Like a Fake”. By Manfred F. R. Kets de Vries. In Harvard Business Review, 2005. Link.
“How to Overcome ‘Impostor Syndrome’”. By Jessica Bennett. Published in the New York Times (online). Link.